To self-regulate, you must first be self-aware.

Self-regulation. I’ll be honest—this wasn’t even on my radar until I found myself completely out of balance. At that point, getting back to a sense of calm and control felt like a major mission.

What I’ve since learned is that self-regulation isn’t something you figure out once and forget about. Nope, it’s an ongoing practice. Life loves to toss challenges our way just to see how we handle them. Even if you have a toolbox full of techniques, you’ll get plenty of opportunities to use them—again and again.

So, What Is Self-Regulation?

Let’s break it down:

Self: Your unique being, knowledge, and values—what makes you you.
Regulation: The act of managing or adjusting something to bring it back to balance, like tweaking a thermostat to get the perfect temperature.

Self-Regulation: Bringing your mind and body back to balance—your personal “reset button”—without needing outside intervention.

Simply put, self-regulation is how you regain your calm and focus after being thrown off track.

Why Self-Awareness Is Key

Here’s the catch: you can’t self-regulate if you’re not self-aware.

Self-awareness is noticing what’s happening inside and around you—your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It’s about understanding your reactions, recognising patterns, and using that insight to make better choices.

When you’re self-aware, you can:

• Catch changes in your mood, thoughts, or energy.
• Understand what triggers certain reactions.
• Respond intentionally instead of just reacting.

Without self-awareness, even the best self-regulation tools won’t get used.

Self-Regulation in Action

Self-regulation is all about:

• Managing big emotions like anger, frustration, or excitement.
• Calming down after an upsetting event.
• Taking small steps to bring yourself back to balance.

My Go-To Self-Regulation Tools

Self-regulation ‘Tools’ (as I like to call them) can be very personal & different.  Here are few of examples of tools I use:

1. Breath: Slowing down your breath and focusing on each inhale and exhale can calm your nervous system and ease stress, by moving you more quickly out of the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ reaction to a situation. 
2. Write: Writing helps get thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper. It’s a great way to process emotions and clear mental clutter.
3. Shake: Yes, literally shaking your body! It’s a simple way to release tension or emotional energy, especially after confrontation.

The Magic of Prevention

Wouldn’t it be great to prevent stress before it takes over? That’s where prevention comes in.

Prevention = Observation + Adjustment

This is must have skill, for if you can prevent the need to self-regulate then there will be less stress in your life… or at least the stress wont last as long or be as damaging.

By being self-aware, you can spot potential stressors and make small changes before they escalate. Prevention is all about managing your overall well-being—through sleep, diet, movement, and how you show up in your relationships.

While life will still throw curveballs, prevention makes it easier to stay steady when things get tough.

Simple Daily Practices

Practice self-awareness, regulation & prevention 

Here are some easy ways to stay grounded:

• A daily practice of sitting in silence & simple observing how you feel for a few minutes a day can be life changing. 
• Eat nourishing food & drink water… its like putting the correct fuel into your car, if its the wrong one it will eventually break down. 
• Move! Your body was made to move. If you don’t use it you loose it! Walk, stretch, dance, whatever feels good!
• Express yourself. Let your emotions and creativity flow—don’t keep it bottled up. We are all creative & emotional, so let it out & don’t bottle it up. Its a lot more unpleasant unblocking dirty drains than simply keeping them clean.

Want More Tools?

If you’re looking to expand your self-regulation toolkit, feel free to reach out! You can also find bite-sized tips and tricks on my Instagram: @smile.withsamantha. ☺︎